Written 8 July 2013

Into our second week without therapy.  Julia kissed me this morning and said she was happy.  I know that she was missing her “therapy friends” last week and it was a bit of a strain for us.  I think that her therapy friends are more fun even though they demanded more from her.  I am giving her more time to do what she wants to do.  And to do it alone at times.  I insist on some things together -- oddly enough including finishing the canvas that she started with her therapy friends at the end of therapy party.  She seems more comfortable today.

Julia is starting the second swim lesson second.  She has a sweet instructor who has no idea of what to do with Julia.  And Julia is trying very, very hard to please her.  When we were standing in the group of parents and kids waiting to have instructors and classes announced, I asked her if she was nervous and she gave me a very tight-lipped ‘yes.‘   In the water now, she is working to control her impulsiveness but jumping out of her skin trying to do what the teacher announced almost before she is finished saying it.  They are going over strokes that they know and Julia can’t wait to show what she can do.  If she was a NT kid, I would correct her, asking her to wait her turn and be patient.  As it is, I am so pleased that she is trying hard to be a good student.  Our practice last week -- every day that we were at the pool has helped to keep Julia following directions even if they are mine and not a teachers.  

Watching Julia is see what I am usually blinded to.  On most days, I see her disabilities.  Hard to admit this to myself -- I see the work we must and should do.  I plan every activity to have some lesson.  This morning, watching Julia try to please her teacher, I see how quick she is.  She gets what her teacher is explaining way before other kids.  She is ready and very willing respond.  Yes, impulsive and yes, sometimes not really correctly because she responds before the teacher is finished explaining, but she is bright.  In our own world, one in which 12 year old act like 7-9 year olds, Julia is her own wonderful self.  

It is only the second week of July and I am feeling the summer is whizzing by.  The August vacation is not planned and my ambivalence needs to lift if we are going to leave at the end of this month.   I am trying to appreciate the value of few plans and goals.  I’ve pared down my tasks list.  This is both intentional -- if I have too many tasks on my list, I will be frustrated when I can’t complete them.  It is impossible to “hang” at the pool or catch fireflies during our evening walks and so I’ve minimized tasks and let those that are not absolutely necessary.