Physically journeying today.  Farther than usual and to the opposite coast.  And after an indulgent, self-involved week or so.  Last week, I bought something new to wear to the wedding -- loose, very soft pants and a top in moss green with a short, soft jacket in blues with branches and buds in blues with hints of purple.  I stumbled upon a sweat shirt which can finally, finally replace my green moleskin one.  The old one is very old.  I have retired it from the all but gardening wardrobe a number of times, but as soon as the weather is cool, I gravitate towards it and I put it on to run errands and go to therapy.  It looks awful, an observation that has been confirmed by Cheshire.  The new one is just as soft and a grey-er color.  It was on a sale rack at the very expensive nice clothes store that I frequent.  The original price was outlandishly high but at 75% off, it is affordable.  Not cheap, mind you, but the price of a Landsend sweatshirt that seems reasonable to me.  It is wonderfully comfortable and soft but in truth, it is still a sweatshirt.  I don’t expect anyone to comment on how lovely I look in it.  Well, perhaps Cheshire, and perhaps not lovely but non-ratty.

This week the weather went crazy.  We hit at least three seasons and I put my garden plans to one side.  Instead, I got a Fall facial, coming home smelling like a well baked apple pie.  I got my bangs cut -- the stylist who cuts my hair a few times a year always offers to take care of my bangs between cuts and I usually do it myself when I can’t stand them in my eyes any longer.  Today, the bangs look a great deal better than if I did them.  I had an acupuncture appointment on Thursday and  four-day fast during the week.  And I met with people three times in a week for some contemplative practice.  Also, social meetings with two friends and my spiritual companion from Quest.  And some early bed time although early to bed does not necessarily guarantee a full night’s sleep.  

This weekend we travel to Rita’s wedding and the pre- and post-wedding parties for those of us coming from far away, and next weekend, I go to the first Quest retreat of this second Quest year.  

This is the first time in a long time that I consciously spent this good deal of time really taking care of myself.  Indulging myself.  Enjoying special treatment that I am lavishing upon myself.  Doing the kind of things that I might have depended upon some gift-giver to provide for me.   This is the standing on my own two feet that goes beyond the basic of food, shelter and clothing and taking care of the kid.  This kind of time balances the work and the worry and the tears.

I see.  I see.  At least for today, I see.