Thursday, October 17, 2013


Cold rain and dark clouds began the day.  I missed morning meditation at the library but talked to Mary for a bit of perspective.   I have one more plant to getting into a garden bed but not in the rain.  It may almost get down to freezing tonight.  

I can feel the seasons giving way.  I notice more and more bare trees and the leaf color is no longer vibrant.  I love fall, I love watching the process of it but this is the point when I would like to hold on tight to the day.  Of course, there is only letting it go.  

I closed the storm windows on the second floor and in the sun room on back of the house.  I’ll call Ed soon to change screen to storms and wash windows on the first floor very soon.  Unfortunately there was two windows in the play room that are open at the top and will not close.  If they would, the house would be warmer.  This is when I curse the old wood windows and wish for replacements!  What I love about the old windows is the old glass that is subtly different than new glass.  Imperfect with tiny distortions.  I had to replace the glass in one old window in my bedroom and right away I could see the difference.  But imperfection is a beautiful pain!  

Time to get back to inside work.  Since my Waisman work has not yet appeared, I have time on my hands and house projects -- those old sorting and ordering projects from two years ago -- to finish.  Today, I made labels for two boxes of Julia stuff.  I have another box of recent finance stuff to finish ordering and then it is back to old pictures.  Perhaps it is time to scan lots of the old stuff so that I can share both more of the originals and the digitized scans with other dear ones.

I am quietly digesting the idea that my mother’s estate will not close this year.  It is four and a half years old. For a very short week or two, I was blinded by the light at the end of the tunnel.  Alas, my brother seems to want to stand between me and that light.  Not much to do but go through what ever process he wants to take us through and watch the bank balance slowly diminish.  Sad.  I was so ready to let go of those tasks.  I have to smile at that last statement, I’ve been “ready” to let go of the tasks for about four of those four and a half years.  

Julia came out of the school building alone today (I’m sure there was a teacher lurking behind her but no one was needed to coax her out the door.), saw me and came right over with some burning information to share.  This scenario is still unusual but very nice.  Then, a girl (S) who is in Julia’s class for the first time, stopped Julia and told her that she would bring in “the book” for Julia tomorrow.  Julia turned to her and said, “sure.” and S said good-bye.  Julia did not respond but did not totally ignore S either.  When S was out of hearing, I asked what book S was talking about.  Julia said, “Really, mom, I have no idea.”  But at least she said “sure” to S.

This morning, Julia told me she had a dream that two of her classmates came over for a sleep over.  She has two days off next week.  Perhaps we can do something with those classmates. 

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