I’ve been feeling sick -- head ache, cough, stuffy nose -- and it is worse at night. I tend to fight the feelings for a few days and then give in and take care of myself. Today, I give in. Water and tea! Sleep and naps. I have wanted to fast but I should now wait a few days and see if I feel better. Coffee this morning, a rare treat these days, helps.
So, sick but beginnings of competence. Talked to my banker about money and a media guy about photoshop. No, they are not in the same league but things in which I am inching my way towards competence.
I am fading from Waisman and from what I see right now, I will probably not finish the work I need to get my certificate. I’ve always said that the certificate meant nothing to me but I have always expected that the most appropriate project would appear for me to finish. It is not and the project I am in is moving further and further away from any possibility of my participation. Had not considered fading away, as opposed to graduating or quitting, but I think fading might be what I am doing. I may be becoming transparent. There is a slim possibility of meeting with someone who may be working with kids on contemplative practice and possibly working with her but -- and oh, how I hate those but’s. So, no but. This is a series of “mays” and “mights” and “possibilities” that appears more and more remote as time passes and email goes unanswered.
Where does this put me? Untethered, for sure. Possibly that is where I belong right now. No idea. Fumbling around in the twilight and tripping over flat objects.
No comments:
Post a Comment