Last night before Julia turned over and went to sleep she said, “I think that Lizzy might be a Weasley.”  Thereby uniting her two worlds.  Lizzy, of course, is the purple dinosaur who has been with Julia since our trip to Disney in 2011.  A little purple T-rex also is very much a part of Julia’s story before she became part of our family.  Working with Marilyn on the long story, with many pictures, of Julia’s life in China, it is Lizzy, the dinosaur (not the toy but the “real dinosaur”) who is her champion against all that was wrong, all that hurt her.  She says that the dinosaur was always with her; however, if there was something with her in China, she called it a Fie Dun and it was a sort-of monster.  Once home the Fie Dun quickly became a dinosaur.  She admits to it being made up by her, but she says it was made-up-real.  Marilyn thinks, as do I, that it was the invention that supported her survival in that awful place.  

Now, there is Harry Potter and his magical world.  She loves it -- it is the first and last thoughts of the day.  She can admit that it is make believe but she loves it.  I have lifted my ban on the books (I didn’t want her to read beyond the second one).  She has been sneaking into the dining room to check out the other books on the shelf (Interestingly, her lust for all of Potter, led her to the realization that we have a lot of books on our shelves.  She asked me whether she could read them all.) and she has done the same at school.  She is plowing through the second book right now -- reading it out loud to me  as we ride in the car and at night before bed.  It will take her a long time to get through each book.  I am not worrying about her meeting experiences that are too intense for her.  I was not too much older when I snuck into the adult part of the library in Bloomfield, New Jersey, and read all manner of adult books.  “Catcher in the Rye” comes to mind in particularly.  When David’s first book came out, he made a special redacted version for Cheshire and her friends who were in 8th grade at the time.  I don’t know if she snuck and read the full version.

My meandering point is just that I need to let go here.  I want to protect Julia because she is still so immature, but if reading is one of the things that she is compelled to do, it may also be one of those things that helps her to mature.  She is drawn to adventure -- Cat Warriors and Guardians of Ga’hoole -- books I am really not interested in.  Cheshire at that age was discovering historical fiction (Cheshire, you should set me straight if I am way off base).  I was discovering science fiction but interested in the worlds not the wars.  I cannot chart Julia like I could Cheshire.  I cannot compare her to myself or to Cheshire or even to what I know of David’s reading habits as a boy.  Not being able to chart her, I tend to tighten the reigns.  I want to limit her exploration.  

But I cannot.  I should not.

I will be there for guidance.  Of course.  Of course.  The kid is much more dependent upon me than Cheshire was at this age.  I have a stronger veto power with her.  But I must learn to use it much more gently.  One day, she may be able to be much more independent and I want her to still trust my guidance.  If I am too powerful right now, I may be the best spring board for her rebellion and independence.  

Gosh.  I have always over thought.  I over thought every decision of Cheshire’s growing up but not as much as what I do now.  Now, alone, without a partner to bounce decisions off of, I can be the hovering tornado mother.

Not good for either of us.

Cello: We hit on something this weekend -- I had Julia write the note names above each note for two of the songs in her school music book -- Jingle and Twinkle.  I know that she is supposed to be learning to read music as well as play, but I think doing both together are just a bit too much for her.  And she was the one who wrote the notes in.  Her fingering improved immediately.

She is learning to read, it is just slow.  She does not recognize patterns, even repeating patterns, so she is deciphering notes one at a time which understandably takes her forever.  This is very much the way she was when she was first learning to read.  She is getting better at fingering -- we practice between two notes often -- but I think she needs to see the letter names for a while longer.

Her private cello teacher agrees and was very impressed by Julia’s lesson during which Julia insisted on playing both Jingle and Twinkle for her.  Her teacher came up with a way to practice in which I will do one hand -- fingering or bow -- and Julia will do the other, thereby giving Julia practice with both without needing to always put both together.  She does not agree with the way that she is learning in the strings class but she is going with what Julia brings in.  We have, very much, found the right teacher.  I told her yesterday that Julia doesn’t recognize patterns yet in the music, and I saw that one bit of information change her manner.  

Julia continues to be gifted with brilliant teachers.